Cricket, shit and the ceiling

What I would like for now, is for the following set of events to happen in the order mentioned.

1) Darrell Hair pulls up Inzy for using a mobile in the pavilion.
2) Darrell Hair pulls up the entire Pakistani team under the " ICC Code of conduct " for crowding around him when the ball was being changed (Intimidation).
3) Darrell Hair finds Inzy guilty of of slow over-rate - to be precise, 0 overs in half an hour.
4) Darrell Hair charges him along with atleast half of the Pakistani Line-up for not knowing English and thus bringing the quintessential English game into dis-repute?
5) Inzy responds to all this by saying " Allahu!!! **** you, Hair".
6) Hair counters by saying " **** you, mate" and then thinking on the lines of "Asalam-
valekum ; Valekum Salaam', adds Allahu at the end.

I would then like one Mr.Osama to take it from there.

Man.. Do I want the shit to hit the ceiling on this one?